Daily Independent -Monessen, PA, November 8, 1902
Some High School Definitions.
Freshman - A gassey but harmless necessity.
Sophomore - A child or kid who is continually thanking his lucky stars he
got through his Freshman year.
Junior - An indescribable jelly like substance about to fall in love.
Senior - A man, grave and dignified, who has passed through three years of
labor and may now rest on his laurels and smoke a pipe.
Gettysburg Compiler , December 1, 1819
COMETS.
A German astronomer, of the name of Hayer, has recently published a new
theory of these curious luminaries. He maintains, that the body is
composed of water, and that the tail consists of solar rays refracted
thro' this medium:--that an impure atmosphere collects around it, which is
dispersed by approximation to the sun; and when a comet comes near the
earth, it purifies the air, and promotes vegetation.
Another Astronomer, M. Olbus, of Bremen, has calculated, that, in
68,000 years, a comet will approach the earth as near as the moon; that in
4,000,000, it will come within 7,7770 geographical miles; and, if its
power of attraction be equal to the moon, will cause a rise in the ocean
of 13,000 feet, which must make a deluge. But, what is still more
frightful, the same philosopher says, that in 220,000,000 years, a comet
will come in contact with the earth, and produce consequences, which can
only be imagined.
Gettysburg Compiler , January 27, 1819
PATENT
Spinning- Wheel.
The subscriber respectfully informs the public in general that he lias
purchased the Patent Right for his Invention, for the counties of Adams,
York and Dauphin Pennsylvania, and Frederick county Maryland.
This Machine has been sufficiently tried to prove its utility, and is
highly recommended by all who have tried it, or seen it in operation; and,
it is ascertained, that twice as much Flax, Wool, or Cotton may be spun in
the same time, with half the labor as on the common spinning wheel.
Price of the Machine and Patent, Nine Dollars.
John Sweney
Adams Sentinel - May 7, 1867
Laugh and Set them Flying
Let those who will repine at fate,
And droop their heads with sorrow;
I laugh when cares upon me wait--
I know they'll leave to-morrow.
My purse is light, but what of that?
My heart is light to match it,
And if I tear my only coat,
I laugh the while I patch it.
I've seen some elves, who call themselves
My friends in summer weather,
Blown far away in sorrow's day
As wind would blow a feather.
I never grieved to see them go,
(The rascals, who would heed 'em?)
For what's the use of having friends,
If false when most you need 'em?
I've seen some rich in worldly gear,
Eternally repining,
Their hearts a prey to every fear--
With gladness never shining.
I would not change my lightsome heart,
For that's a thing that all their wealth
Can neither buy nor borrow.
And still as sorrows come to me--
As sorrows sometimes will come--
I find the way to make them flee
Is bidding them right welcome.
They cannot brook a cheerful look--
They're used to sobs and sighing,
And he that meets them with a smile,
Is sure to set them flying.
Author unknown
